


like day and night

by minhobbit



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama & Romance, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:34:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25253182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minhobbit/pseuds/minhobbit
Summary: Golden boy, perfect idol and lonely sun, Young K finally encounters a pale silver moon in the form of indie artist eaJ. How can the two celestial bodies meet each other in the midst of their packed schedules?(alternatively: Jae and Young K meet at a tattoo shop and end up clashing two worlds -- idol world and underground music world. As well as falling in love in the process).
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 10
Kudos: 75





	like day and night

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I've written something that's not smut, lmao. 
> 
> But well, I keep talking with [Jan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyouroceans) about many different Parkian scenarios on DMs, so this came all the way from there. Not gonna lie, it is quite hard for me to go back from only descriptive smut to... Whatever this is. So, yeah, bear that in mind when reading.
> 
> I was planning to do a Spotify playlist with the songs I listened to while writing this, but most of them are eaJ's. So, if you want them still (taking out the eaJ ones lol), I'd be glad to share.
> 
> Enjoy!

The sun shines brightly when the door from the tattoo shop opens. The sound of the doorbell makes the man on the bench look up from his mobile phone game. He has a white hoodie on. His knuckles show some tattoos and his black and blonde hair peeks out from under his hoodie. He was so immersed in not losing in the game that he lost track of time. The tattoo artist, Sungjin, was taking too long in the backroom. He looks over at the newcomer. He has a black cap and white face mask on. He is wearing a plain white shirt and his lotion smells like cinnamon. Oddly, he seems out of place in the shop. Like he didn’t belong there. 

“Hey, Jae. Dowoon will be done any second. Don’t get too impatient!” shouts Sungjin from the back room, as a deep voice mumbles something about a lost earring. “Look inside your damn pockets, Dowoon! You had them on when we left home in the morning…”

The newcomer looks next to him, to the only other person there. He assumes that must be Jae.

“Can you two stop flirting and get to work already?” snaps the man, Jae, in between laughing. “I have to get home early or my sister will be pissed. Come on!” 

The door from the back room opens and Sungjin moves into the lobby. He is of medium height, on the broader side, and has curly maroon hair. The soft waves fall on his forehead as he bows down to the customer next to Jae. He moves his neck from one side to another, looking for his agenda. Whenever he does this, his neck tattoos become way more visible. Sungjin’s torso is covered in tattoos, from his chest to his back. Although his arms aren’t. It’s like he has a shirt underneath his actual shirt.

“Are you… Kang Brian?” asks Sungjin, tilting his head while asking.

The man next to Jae nods and looks up at the tattoo artist.

“Yes. That’s me” he says, in a melodic voice, making Jae stare at him “I am a bit early, right? It’s just… My nerves, I guess?” he continues, fidgeting with his fingers.

Sungjin’s hearty laugh fills the room and he nods.

“Don’t worry about it. You will have to wait a bit, though. I’ll be ready in about fifteen minutes.”

Sungjin leaves the lobby and Jae notices how _Kang Brian_ has removed neither his cap nor his face mask. He chooses to focus again on the game on his phone and disconnect himself from the world. He still has to wait a long time before the body piercer, Dowoon, is ready. And that kid almost always has his head on the clouds. So he is up for a long ride. 

“Oh, I like that game!” suddenly says the melodic voice next to him, making him turn around. “Sorry… I am quite noisy” says Brian, scratching his neck “But I am kind of nervous. I tend to talk a lot when I am like that”. 

Jae smiles at him and moves his body to the side, so he can face _Brian_. He can make out the shape of a pair of vulpine eyes from what he can see. A set of sharp cheekbones that seem to be able to cut through stone. Warm, honey-toned skin. And of course, that enchanting cinnamon scent. 

“Hey, no need to apologize. Is it your first time?” he asks, trying to be polite. 

Brian nods and looks down at his hands, fidgeting again.

“Yeah. It’s quite obvious, isn’t it? But I really wanted to get a tattoo now that I don’t have to work for a bit. That way it can heal without any pressure!” he chirpy says, making Jae smile inside. “However, I can’t help but be scared. What if it hurts?”

Jae empathizes with him and nods.

“I feel you. I am such a crybaby, I can’t believe I am getting another one soon…” he says and pulls up one of his hoodie sleeves, showing Brian his tattoo sleeve. It covers from his wrist to his shoulder, although Brian can only see up until the elbow. “But once you start, it kinda becomes an addiction. Plus, Sungjin is really good. He’s done most of mine. It hurts at first but then you grow numb to it.”

Brian keeps looking at the tattoo sleeve on Jae’s arm. It’s beautiful.

“Wow. Can I look at it a bit closer?” he asks and Jae nods.

Then, Brian takes out his face mask and he approaches Jae, taking his arm on his hands. 

That’s when Jae gets to see his face properly. And he was right about the fox-like eyes and the sharp cheekbones. But what the mask concealed was a lot more than that. He could now see a straight nose. An equally sharp and defined jaw and a set of full lips. They seem a bit chapped. But the most important thing was, Jae knew this man. He was _Young K_. An idol. One of those perfect, almost too perfect, shiny idols everyone looked up to. 

“Young K?” Jae says, still in disbelief. 

Brian looks up at him again and Jae can see how his eyes widen, almost comically. 

“Oh… Please, don’t scream?” he pleads and lets go of Jae’s arm.

Jae chuckles and places his own hand inside his hoodie pocket.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t. I’m not quite a fan of idol music if I am being honest” he confesses and looks to the floor “But, I can recognize you have a great voice. And I like some of your songs. Do you really write your own lyrics?” he asks, a glint of admiration on his eyes.

Young K blushes and nods, flustered. 

“Yeah, I do. I write everything. Of course, I have to run it through the production team so they approve but and I have an in-house music arranger, so I mostly do everything” he answers, before biting his lip.

Jae smiles fondly.

“That’s so cool! I enjoyed your 80’s inspired song. _Days Gone By_ , I think it was called? It was a breath of fresh air” he compliments and sees Brian bow his head respectfully “My younger sister is always singing it! I even thought of making a cover of it, but I don’t think it would suit me…”

Brian tilts his head to the side, curiously. 

“Oh? Do you sing?” he asks, feeling a bit nosy. 

Now, Jae is the one who is flustered. He runs his hand over his head and nods before pulling out his phone and unlocking it. Brian notices the tattoos covering both sets of knuckles. Jae seems like a tough guy, but his eyes and his voice are soothing and soft.

“Yeah, I am more on the independent side, though. I own a company with my sister” he explains and opens his YouTube app “Well, calling it a company is a bit of a stretch. Right now it’s only her, my best friend and I. He is a rapper.” 

Brian’s curiosity is piqued and he scoots closer on the bench, looking at Jae’s phone. 

“Can I hear one of your songs?” he asks, wide-eyed and excited.

Jae laughs nervously and nods before selecting one of his videos. 

“Sure. This one is called _Guess Not_. It’s from last year, though” he comments before pressing play. 

At first, Brian is completely invested in the sound and the visuals of the video. Jae isn’t there. It’s just his voice. He was right, his voice is soothing and has a warm tone to it. However, when the song reached the chorus, Brian remembered. He knew the song. And when it finished and he saw the end credits, he gasped. 

“You are eaJ?” he whisper-shouts, covering his mouth right after.

Jae quirks a brow and stares at Brian, confused.

“You know me?” 

Brian nods frantically and throws his hands up in the air.

“Of course I do! Your song came out of nowhere when I was promoting my last song. You blocked me in every chart, man. Everyone and their mom know and love that song!” he answers, a bit teasingly.

Jae sheepishly smiles and bows his head many times. His cheeks are a bit rosy now.

“Oh. I didn’t think it was a big deal? I mean. I went out one time and heard it at the club but that was it? I didn’t really pay attention to the charts, though…” he comments while he looks at his phone screen. “Did… Did you love it as well?” he asks immediately after. 

Brian laughs, incredulous, and nods again. Even his laugh is melodic, thinks Jae. Not only that, but the way his nose scrunches up when he laughs is also so endearing, Jae has to stop himself from staring in awe like an idiot. Brian’s vulpine eyes become tiny crescent moons and his cheeks pop out. He is gorgeous under the midday sunlight. Jae can’t help but look, trying to be discreet. 

“Of course I did! I loved the lyrics!” he says and Jae goes shy once again. 

Just then, Sungjin comes out, already wearing his gloves and face mask. He calls Brian up. 

“Well, good luck there, Young K” says Jae, a cheeky smile on his face. “Or can I call you Brian? It suits you better, in my opinion”.

Brian smiles widely and takes back his face mask, storing it safely inside his pocket. He stands up and nods at Jae, flashing his pearly white teeth. Jae suppresses a sigh. One of those all-telling enamored sighs that you let out when you see something you truly enjoy. 

Brian walks towards Sungjin.

“I think I will be fine, too. I’ve survived enough heartbreaks, right?” he jokes, a bit red on the face.

Jae laughs heartily and he agrees, telling him, “That’s right Bri. You’ve survived enough heartbreaks to write _Letting Go_. Sungjin and his tattoo gun have nothing on you”.

When Brian comes out of the tattoo room, an hour and a half later, with a plastic film over his fresh tattoo, he looks for Jae. He, of course, is not there anymore. Brian tries his best not to feel disappointed. It’s his own fault for not asking him for any contact info. He sighs and moves up to the counter, ready to pay.

“Didn’t he come here to get a tattoo, though?” he suddenly asks Sungjin, who is busy on the cashier.

However, the tattoo artist just laughs and shakes his head.

“Nah, he came to Dowoon, actually,” he says, swiping Brian’s credit card “Even though he still has some skin for me to ink, he wanted a new piercing” he comments, giving Brian a pen to sign for his purchase,

However, Brian gulps. Jae with a piercing? 

“New? Do you mean he has many?” he says, recalling only catching the glimpse of one or two earrings. 

Sungjin nods and receives the receipt back. 

“Yes. When I met him, he had one on his eyebrow. Overall, through the years, I think he’s had at least 8?” he says, looking up, trying to remember “Oh! I forgot the septum. But he took it out like a year ago. The only other one I think he is using currently is the one on his navel”.

Brian tries his best not to choke. 

“Then… What is left to pierce?” he croaks out, begging his voice not to crack. 

“I think it was either a lip ring or one on his tongue? Something around that area” answers Sungjin, off-handedly. “Why? Are you also thinking about a piercing, Brian?”

He just smiles awkwardly and put his card back in his wallet. After waving goodbye to Sungjin, he leaves the shop. His heart is resounding loudly on his ears. He can almost bet it stopped at some point. Jae was attractive. He could definitely tell that from the moment he saw him. However, the more he found about him, the more he felt hot and bothered. First, the tattoo sleeve and the knuckles. Then, all of those piercings?

Oh, no. Brian could feel the sweat dribbling down his back. He kicked himself mentally for not asking for his number, once again. Then, an idea struck him. But he was sure he’d probably regret it if it didn’t go as planned. Quickly, he pulled out his phone and went to Instagram, looking up “@eaj” in the search bar. He already followed him on his private account, but he was using his public figure one. He followed him and moved to “send message”. He was risking everything right there and then. 

He writes “ _Hey, don’t freak out. But I forgot to ask for your contact info? I’m kinda dumb. Could you follow me at this account: @kangbra? It’s my private one_ ”. He ends the DM with a smiley face and “Brian”. God, he hopes he doesn’t scare him off or makes him think he is weird. Once he spots his driver, he moves inside the car and exhales heavily. His heart beats fast. 

He runs some errands before going back to his apartment complex. A few hours already went by and Jae hasn’t replied yet. He starts to feel like a dumbass and it’s about to delete the messages and try to run away from the embarrassment when he hears his Instagram ringtone go off. 

Quicker than he’s ever been, he opens up Jae’s message, “ _Wow! I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me again? This is my private, let’s talk through there, k? @jaepark92_ ”. Brian reads the message way too many times before screeching and following him. He tried not to seem desperate but, honestly, who cares? He is now talking to Jae through their private accounts. He is already much more closely than what he was a few hours ago. 

Once they’ve both accepted each other’s request, Brian is wondering what he should send him. But Jae, oh sweet Jae, beats him to it. When Brian read the notification that says “ _@jaepark92 sent you an image!”,_ he almost fainted. He takes a deep breath before opening it up. And, when he does, he falls down onto his bed, cheeks flushed.

Jae sent him a selfie, sporting his new lip piercing. It’s a ring-shaped one. It’s silver and it shines just right on Jae’s full lower lip. It is directly placed in the middle of his lip. Brian blushes. Why did he have to be that hot? Jae is giving the camera the peace sign and Brian peeks the tattooed knuckles once again. He only saw one of Jae’s arms. Does that mean he could probably have both in the same way? 

On the other side of the city, Jae smiles when he receives Brian’s reply. It’s a wide smiley face and a thumbs up that accompany his “ _Wow! You look so good!_ ”. Jae’s cheeks hurt because he is smiling too hard. Brian definitely was his type. He was a bit loud. A tiny bit over-talkative. But he was polite and considerate. Also, it didn’t help Jae’s case that he was bronzed and beautiful as well.

“What are you smiling at?” asks Jamie, throwing herself over her brother’s back “Who is that Brian? Are you going out with someone, Jae?” she inquires, pulling Jae’s hair, playfully. 

Jae groans and pushes her away, gently. He quickly locks his phone again and laughs.

“None of your business, Jamie. Now, play that dumb movie so we have something to do!”

Jamie throws him a purple pillow. It hits him right on the face. He is glad he wasn’t wearing glasses. He should know better. His sister is good at throwing things. Time and childhood scars could testify on his behalf on that part. He quickly put the pillow down and picked up his frames from the coffee table, putting them on. 

“Excuse you, Jaehyung! It’s Kill Bill! You’re so uncultured, oh my God!” she retaliates before playing the movie. 

Jae chuckles and holds his sister closer, letting her use him as a human pillow.

“Hey, Jamie. Do you know Young K?” he asks mid-opening credits scene. 

Jamie shushes him before stuffing his mouth with popcorn (that Jae obediently chews down).

“Yeah. The hot dude from JYP? He’s the one that sings _Days Gone By_. Why?” she answers back. 

Jae chuckles and closes his eyes, thinking about those pretty fox eyes and the handsome smile. Yeah, one could say he was hot. But honestly, he left Jae speechless. It was more than a pretty face. More than the complimenting tan he sported. More than his honeyed voice. More than the foxy eyes. Jae’s heart was beating way too fast just by thinking about him. 

“No reason. I just think he is neat”.

  
  


❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ 

  
  


A few days later, it has already become a common thing to catch Brian in between practices, glued to his phone, smiling brightly as he laughs at a message from Jae. In the same way, Jamie has to actively take his phone away when they are having lunch together, as Jae would plain ignore her and his best friend, Matthew. Jae had the phone on his hand as his other grabbed the chopsticks. Jamie couldn’t be more annoyed.

“Can’t you flirt at another time? We’re having lunch!” snaps Jamie, taking the phone out of Jae’s hand, earning a pout from him “Seriously, Jae. Not cute to ignore your only baby sister and your best friend. Idiot”. 

Jae knows it’s a rude thing to do, his sister is right. But, how can he ignore Brian’s texts? Especially when they’ve moved past the awkward small talk stage. No, they aren’t talking deep stuff yet, but, he can feel them moving there soon. Right now, the topic is Jae’s tattoos. Brian asked how many he has. Jae answered _“idk, I can’t properly count them? You know, because the sleeve ones are all connected_?”. Brian squealed when he read that. 

“Wait, what’s your tattoo? Can I see it?” asked Jae through a voice note, a few hours later. 

Brian blushed and looked at his arm. 

“Ah, I’ll show it to you when it heals! I promise” he answered back, before locking his phone again.

Jae moves around in his bedroom, looking for the specific body lotion he uses to keep his tattoos fresh and prevent them from getting nasty and crusty. He quickly picks it up and snaps a photo of it that he, of course, sends to Brian. It is a normal random mundane pic but Brian finds himself blushing and fanning his face. Jae’s whole arm is in display in the photo. He is taking the photo from above and Brian can appreciate the way in which his long fingers hold the cylinder of lotion. Sadly, he can’t see the tattooed knuckles he’s come to enjoy, but he’ll take what he gets. 

Jae’s message is just a “ _Use this lotion! It’s good for the scarring!_ ”.

Brian bites his own lip. 

“Thank you!” he answers back and throws himself onto the sofa at the recording studio. 

Their Instagram DMs were getting a bit clogged, so Brian suggested moving to KakaoTalk. It definitely felt weird to finally have access to Jae’s number. And Jae quickly had to change his profile picture because it was a weird meme Matthew sent him a while back. He only used the app to talk with his family and closest friends. However, Brian’s profile picture was a cute Shiba smiling. Jae couldn’t help but think it looked like him.

“If you don’t show me your tattoo yet, can I at least know what it is about?” asks Jae, as his first message.

Of course, he knows some tattoos are personal. Usually, the first ones are, but when you get to his stage, they become less and less deep. He had started tattooing himself every time he wrote a song based on a story from his personal life. Sometimes it was the name of the song, the timestamp when he started to write it, sometimes it was something completely abstract. Sungjin was great when helping him jot a design down. That’s how they had become friends. 

Brian opens up the message as he is serving himself his reheated dinner. He smiles, thankful Jae is not there to watch him blush. He wanted to ask the same question about Jae’s tattoos. Yes, he had many, but surely they must have some meaning, right? He didn’t know if he could ask it as well, though. 

“Maybe we could talk about it when we see each other…” suggest Brian in his text, making Jae’s brows shoot up to his forehead.

Brian wants to see him again. Jae didn’t think he would get that far. He takes a deep breath before letting his mind go wild with different scenarios. Taking him to the amusement park. Going on a bicycle date at Han River. Driving to the beach, a few hours away. Simply eating at his favorite bistro. It all seemed too typical for Jae, and Brian was someone special. Also, he had to take into account the fact that Brian couldn’t be seen in public, he was an idol, after all. People would speculate. A tiny but mind-numbing idea struck him.

“What if we meet at my studio?” asks Jae, adding a soft smiley face at the end. Hoping not to sound like a creep. “It’s at our company building and, well, it is kind hidden from the areas where fans are. You would be safe coming here”.

Brian’s heart clutches. A warm feeling spreading over his chest. Jae is worried about him. He wants to protect him from the wandering eyes of the world. Brian throws himself on his bed and looks up at the ceiling. This sounded like a date. A friend one, for now, but a date nonetheless.

“You really have your own studio? And you’re inviting me? Of course, I wanna go!” he answers a few minutes later, sending the pleading-eyes emoji. 

Jae can only smile wider when he sees the emoji. That is a flirting emoji, c’mon. You can’t make this up. He runs his fingers through his hair and sighs. He can imagine Brian making those eyes. He would look cute as hell in front of him. Jae inhales before his mind wanders off too far away and replies to Brian.

“You are free to come whenever you want! I assume you share the studio with your labelmates, right? Give me a call whenever you need it…” he offers, trying to sound cool (but in reality, he is clutching onto his pillow, waiting for Brian’s answer).

When he finally replies back and they set a time for it, Jae feels the weight of the world fall off from his shoulders before he gets anxious once again, like a wary cat. What is he going to wear? Will he need to do his makeup? Should he tell Jamie and Matthew? One thousand different thoughts run through his mind before he breathes in and out and focuses on choosing an outfit first.

The fateful evening finally comes and Jae and Brian are sitting at Jae’s studio, drinking iced coffee and eating chips, Jae feels like this is how things should be. He feels so comfortable around him. Even if it’s the second time they’ve seen each other in real life, Jae feels like he knows a lot about Brian. He still wants to know more though.

“Mm, this is a song I am currently working on…” Jae starts, playing it on the speakers for Brian, who just smiles while he takes in the lyrics of it.

He is swaying left and right, enjoying the rhythm of the song and how soft Jae’s voice sounds. Mindlessly, he begins humming along, flourishing his ad-libs here and there, as he is used to. Brian’s overactive mind is always bound to music, whenever he hears a new piece.

Jae stops the song and looks at Brian, who is now staring at him like a lost puppy.

“Huh? That sounds great, Bri! Wanna sing a bit for real?” he asks, smiling as Brian blushes deeply.

“No, no! This is your song! I was just humming…” Brian says back, embarrassed. 

Jae doesn’t comment on how pretty his flushed face looks, but he certainly thinks about it for the rest of the day. Jae turns around on his rolling chair and looks at Brian, who is fidgeting now. He laughs and the sound of it makes Brian’s insides become goo. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I liked it. If you want to… We could feature you anonymously…” Jae offers all soft eyes and a gentle voice.

Albeit a bit hesitant, Brian sits next to Jae, reading a verse from it before singing it on top of the tune. He is now almost pressed to the side of Jae. He feels the warmth of his body very closely. He can smell Jae’s lavender scent. From this angle, he can peek at Jae’s many ear piercings. Sungjin was right, there are many. 

_Did you eat?_

_Was today a rough one?_

_Even everyday conversation_

_Between us both_

_Feels like a luxury now_

_So we cherish each other’s words_

Brian can’t help but think of the domestic vibe of the lyrics. However, when he focuses more, when his voice is finally finding itself through the melody, he can see how it reflects how he talks to Jae since they first met. They ask each other these questions. They try to cheer each other up from their busy lives. And indeed, seeing each other would be considered a luxury, with how both of their agendas are packed up. He sighs and when Jae plays the recording back, he almost can’t recognize the tint of sad fondness on his voice. 

Jae joins him a bit later, singing his own other verses. Brian stares at him the whole time. Jae usually sings with his eyes closed, he notices. He can also catch on how Jae takes short breaths in between lyrics, almost as if trying to calm himself down. Could that be his normal anxious self? Or was Jae nervous about something? About him, perhaps? 

Once it is finally recorded, Brian has to go home; he’s got one or two scheduled activities the next morning. His vacation weeks are over now. He slowly has to go back to his hectic lifestyle. Getting up before the sun, going to bed when the moon is almost giving its space back to the sun. He is still young, and he knows he is been blessed by having the chance of following his dreams. But, still, he wishes he could have more free time. For himself. For his loved ones. Maybe for Jae.

When he arrives at his bedroom and plops onto the bed, his phone shows him a notification. 

  
  


_『 jwaepark sent you an audio file 』_

  
  


He opens it and listens to it. Jae didn’t attach anything to the file. It’s the raw version of their voices together over the melody. Jae’s airy voice fits perfectly with the tone, but Brian can’t help but gasp when he notices Jae overlapped both their voices in some parts, creating harmonies he didn’t know could exist. Brian listens to it once, then another time, then he loses count of how many times he did it. By the time his alarm for waking up goes off, he notices his damp eyes. 

The song comes out a week later on eaJ’s page. Again, the music video is pretty abstract and neither Jae nor Brian appear it in. Brian isn’t credited as Kang Brian or Young K. He decided to be credited as Young One. And of course, he didn’t accept any sort of payment Jae wanted to send his way. 

“Are you sure no one will pick up on you and Young One sounding exactly the same?” Jae asks while opening a bag of cookies, in his company’s cafeteria. Brian has been coming every time he gets one or two hours of free time. Just to hang out and talk about music. He’s met both Jamie and Matthew by then. 

“Nah. I don’t think so. Plus, my fans have no clue right now. I hope it stays that way…” he comments as he steals a chip from Jae’s plate.

Right now, they were alone in the cafeteria. Matthew and Jamie had an arrangement at a local radio to promote their company, so they went away after saying bye. A few minutes after they left, Jae pulls out something from his hoodie pocket. It is a tiny velvet box. He places it next to Brian’s plate.

“Oh, I forgot! I got you this…” he says, sheepishly, before scratching the back of his head.

Dumbfounded, Brian opens the box and finds a fox charm. It has small emerald eyes and pale crystals on the white parts of its face. Brian gasps. He holds the piece of jewelry in his hands, afraid it will go away in any second. He snaps his head towards Jae.

“Jae... What is it?” he asks, still unsure of everything. He feels as if he has run a marathon. 

“Well, you refused to get any payment for our collab… And I know you like jewelry, so I got you this. You can put it on a necklace or a bracelet. If you want to, I could have it turned into a ring?” Jae offers, talking way faster, nervous as hell. Was he being too obvious?

“I know it is a charm but… Why? I didn’t ask for anything, Jae” he says, furrowing his brows.

“Well, I thought it would suit you. I didn’t want to feel like taking advantage of you. You worked as hard as I did, Bri. Please, don’t give it back. You don’t have to wear it… Just keep it” Jae mutters, looking to his feet.

Reverse psychology works perfectly, for Brian starts wearing the fox charm all the time. He’s attached it to his favorite necklace. It even becomes the main topic of discussion on his fans’ social media accounts. They are all wondering why does he have it, who gave it to him, and what does it mean. 

  
  


_@youngksbabo “Well, yes, he looks like a fox, but why did he start using it now?”_

_@YK191293 “Do you guys think he has a girlfriend now? TT TT”_

_@foxk93 “I TOLD YOU ALL HE LOOKED LIKE A FOX FIRST! GIVE ME CREDITS FOR SAYING THAT OR I’LL SUE!!!!!”_

  
  


Jae sees some of the ideas and theories while lurking around social media. He finds it funny. But he is beyond grateful no one has caught onto it. And they probably never will. No one would suspect perfect all-rounder Young K and faceless eaJ would be seeing each other. 

Even less, being close enough to give each other gifts. 

  
  


❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ 

  
  


In fact, even though eaJ has fans, his fanbase is not like those of actual idols. He hasn’t got any crazy fan following him around, stealing his trash, or bothering his close ones. He is glad. He would have gotten into much trouble if he had become an idol. He wouldn’t allow any fan frenzy towards him, that is for sure. Being an underground, indie artist was the perfect way to put his art out there. His schedules were self-managed, and he didn’t have to guard them like a prize all the time. His own physical appearance is a secret, actually. There are no selfies of him on his verified social media. Nor does he appear on his videos, for the same reason. 

On the other hand, Brian’s whole life is watched by millions of eyes. Every move, every schedule, every breath is carefully surveilled by the media and by his fans. Every other week he has to denounce another stalker fan lurking around his apartment complex. But he receives lovely fan letters each day as well. It is a fine balance. And amidst his chaotic life, Brian manages to write songs. He can’t bear to sing other people’s ideas as his own. Jae’s song was different, he felt compelled to do it. He connected with the song. With Jae. In fact, Jae is now his muse.

Snippets of songs are being written every time he finds a surface to do so. The notes on his phone are filled with verses and harmonies he will later use. He’s got recordings of him mindlessly creating vocal guides for his future songs. However, he is trying hard not to make it overtly obvious who it is for. He had already gone through the stage of trying to write answers to Jae’s song. Those were some of his rawest attempts, but also the most obvious ones. They would give him away in an instant. So, he gets together with his best friend in the industry, Kim Wonpil.

Wonpil is an idol as well, his labelmate, and practically musical genius. He plays piano and his music genre mostly revolves around ballads and drama OST mothers around the country love. But on top of that, he is also an amazing composer. Brian and him have worked on many songs together when they were training. They were supposed to debut in a band in the future, but it all crumbled down at some point. 

So, they meet at the company studio. Brian decided to forgo visiting Jae’s because he knows he would offer his help and Brian couldn’t bear to sputter out all his feelings before even finishing the song. Plus, he is really scared of rejection. What if Jae were to catch on the meaning of the song? What if he didn’t feel the same? Thinking about that just hurt him, so he decided to ignore it until the song was done. It is a quiet, slow-tempo, almost acoustic love song. Wonpil had called it cheesy but Brian said that is how he really feels about the person he loves. 

When the song is produced and they submit it for revision, they are praised for their skills. It is the middle of the summer. The nights are warm but won’t keep like that for much longer. A cute love song would fit the sunsets perfectly, said an executive producer. So they name it and set a release date. A few days before the summer officially ends. The music video shooting is set to start in about a week. Brian specifically requests appearing on it, they agree and ask Wonpil to feature as well. They come to an agreement and start calling the producers for it. They say Young K and Wonpil must promote it together. 

Schedules grow tighter as the summer passes. Brian has lost some weight from the activity and Jae is definitely not pleased. He sends him takeaway as often as he can, cheering him on. Drawing a cute fox and hearts on the sticky notes on top of the container. He is being taken care of even if he can’t see Jae all the time. Brian feels like floating every time he sees a handwritten message from him.

And then, the moment for the release and the promotions comes around. Brian and Wonpil go to every radio and variety show available. Their fans are busier than ever, streaming their video and the song. And somewhere along the way, their interactions are seen as shipping material. And when Brian stops to think about it, his live streams are full of people commenting “ _YoungFeel forever!”._ He takes his concerns to the company and they laugh it off, saying it’s better for business, as both their fan bases will merge together. 

Wonpil isn’t happy about it either. In fact, he is even more pissed off than Brian. He tries to talk to the company about changing some of the interactions but they refuse. They even get a fan meet for the two of them. And so, skinship requests are the first thing fans ask when they go see them. In no time, every single major Korean news outlet is talking about the “bromance of the century”.

When a special segment of a gossip show is done about “YoungFeel”, Jae is sat down eating at the cafeteria. Jamie is munching on some brownies before she almost chokes onto one of them. On the tv, they are showing a video compilation of all of their skinship and fanservice moments. Jae knows they’re close, and he’s never been the jealous type, but he can’t hide how hurt his eyes look.

“Who the fuck does he think he is flirting with that Wonpil?” spits Jamie, frowning “You are better looking. You are way taller. You have your own company. You are way better than some scrawny…”

Jae lets his knife and fork fall down on the table. 

“Jamie, that is not fair. You don’t even know him. Don’t be rude. Also, he has every right to flirt with whoever he wants… I am not his boyfriend” he finished and leaves the room, towards his studio. 

He stays there three whole days. He writes and tears off pages like a madman. In the end, he releases an acoustic song, which is definitely not on brand with his other songs. He knows he doesn’t have any right to ask Brian about his relationship, so this is his only way of venting. After uploading it, he logs off and goes home.

  
  
  


_『 eaJ has uploaded a new video “Pinocchio” 』_

  
  


@eajschiquita “WTF WHO HURT HIM????!!!”

@eajtweets “why does it hit even harder when it’s an acoustic version? TT TT”

@guessingeajtime “okay BUT WHO DO WE HAVE TO KICK IN THE ASS???? *knife emoji*”

  
  
  


Brian comes back home from his tiring schedule-filled day and the notification for eaJ’s channel pops up first. Tilting his head to the side, he clicks on it. He finds it odd that he’d release something without telling him. He listens to the song and grows even more confused. 

“What the fuck…” he mutters through clenched teeth before trying to reach Jae’s number.

There’s no answer and he quickly goes to check Jae’s private Instagram. He messages him as well, but no reply. And he keeps posting stories of him out on the city, drinking under the streetlights as his friends laugh in the back. He can spot Matthew and Sungjin. And some other guys he’s never seen. Jae is wearing a black hoodie that says “Good Vibes Only” in white letters. And he looks shitfaced. Brian knows he is a lightweight, they had talked about alcohol as a coping mechanism many times.

Brian had gone through a rough patch last year. He was in a slump and he felt chained to his idol career. Plus, he was trying to distance himself from people from his past. He told Jae about the countless nights he’d drink for hours, alone at home, as to not get a bad reputation with the press by going to a club. He even told Jae about drinking really high alcohol degree bottles entirely. And how one time he ended up at the hospital because of 50% one.

He sighs as he watches Jae’s newest story on his eaJ account. He is sitting on a bench in the street, near Han River. His hoodie covering up his face as he belts out, “ _who holds you on, your 50 proof high?_ ”. It sounds like the emotions are ripping his heart apart. That’s all Brian can take. Somehow, he feels Jae is like this because of him. But he has no way of knowing unless they talk, and Jae is definitely not in the best moment for that.

He decides to call Sungjin.

“Kang Brian?” asks Sungjin, sounding completely sober “What can I help you with? It is quite late and I am not at the tattoo shop for any appointments, but I can take notes”.

Matthew is picking Jae up from the bench while Jae keeps mumbling-singing lyrics made right on the spot. Jae can faintly make the sound of Brian’s name out of Sungjin’s mouth. He closes his eyes shut and holds onto Matthew, trying his best not to start sobbing. The whole world spins as his chest feels like it has just taken a bullet. 

“I need to talk to Jae, please,” says Brian, looking through his window.

Sungjin looks at his friend, snuggled against Matthew and he decides against it.

“It’s not a good idea. He is not his best self right now... “ begins Sungjin, confused as to why Brian would want to talk to Jae “He is a bit drunk. It looks like a heartbreak although it’s been a long time since I’ve seen him like this. I can’t pass him over, sorry. Try to call him tomorrow, okay?”

He hangs up on Brian after an awkward “see you”.

“Heartbreak? What the fuck is going on?” he mutters as he looks for Jamie’s number.

She answers right away, and she is definitely not pleased.

“Who do you think you are making my brother fall in love with you and then flirting with another dude on national TV?” Jamie asks, Brian can almost feel the venom on her words, “Do you enjoy having the power to have any guy at your feet and then destroying them in front of everyone? Do you get off on your popularity, asshole?” 

Brian’s eyes widen up again, he grips onto the curtains of his window.

“Jamie, what the hell?”

But she keeps going as if she couldn’t hold it inside her chest any longer.

“Don’t play dumb, because you sure aren’t, Kang Younghyun!” she yells and Brian can hear how broken she is “You made my quiet brother open up to you. He is so fucking shy. It is really hard for him to go out of his shell. That’s why he could never become a shiny perfect stupid idol like you. He has stage fright” she adds, gravely “And you? You just came and shook his world with your picture-perfect face and fame. You left him starstruck. And then? You went deeper. My brother was head over heels for you. He bought you a fucking custom made charm. He let you be inside of his studio during his composition process. He let you feature on one of his projects! Just for you to go and make and sing another song with another picture-perfect idol like you?” she scoffs before adding “You ain’t shit, Kang Younghyun. Don’t ever call me or my brother ever again. I don’t want to see you near our company building. Or I will personally kick your dumb shallow ass. I can’t believe I once admired you”.

When Jamie hangs up on him, Brian falls to his knees on the carpet floor. It takes him a while to notice he is crying. It takes him even longer to stop doing it. And he just isn’t able to force himself to sleep that night. Outside, the busy city keeps moving on, oblivious to the storm inside Kang Brian.

  
  


❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ 

  
  


The next morning, when the sun is only starting to come out of bed, Brian phones Jae’s number again. This time he picks up and a deep voice, instead of Jae’s breathy one, greets him. Brian freezes. Was Jae seeing someone else? Was this the person that inspired Jae’s song? 

“Huh, who is this?”

Brian clears his throat, trying to collect his thoughts,

“Hi. Is Jae over there?” he asks, trying to keep his emotions at bay,

“Sorry, who is this? He only has you saved with a fox emoji and the letter B?” the guy asks back, evidently wary.

“Ah, I’m… Young One. The guy from his past collab?” he says, and it’s not a complete lie.

“Oh, right! I’ll see if he can answer, though. He is hungover. I’m Mark, by the way” he adds and Brian can hear him walking around the room. 

Brian has heard of him. He is one of Jae’s oldest friends from back home in sunny California. They’ve been friends for ages. Since they were scrawny awkward teenagers. Brian had seen photos of him. He is handsome. Delicate. Could be an idol as well. Jae had mentioned in passing how his gay awakening had been seeing him shirtless at the pool, when they were sixteen. 

“Hello?” asks a groggy voice, that Brian recognizes as Jae.

“Good morning, Jae” he greets, a soft smile on his face, even though he knows Jae can’t see him. 

Jae instantly sits up in his bed, looking at Mark with worried eyes.

“Bri… Younghyun. What is it?” he asks, his tone is the harshest Brian has ever heard from him. It feels cold, distant. And the use of his birth name hurts even more. He can’t pretend it doesn’t. 

“I was just… Wondering if you were okay? I messaged and called you last night. But you didn’t reply. Everything okay?” Brian says, stuttering a bit but trying to keep composure. He knows it is all a misunderstanding. He will make things right. 

Jae fists his sheets. His eyes and face are puffy from the alcohol and the sobbing. He looks over at Mark. The guy is just awkwardly standing there, concerned because of his friend’s face. Jae is normally chill and even bubbly. This Jae, he looks hollow and down. He hates hearing the pain in his voice. Perhaps heartbroken is the accurate choice of words. 

“Yeah. Sorry… I went out with some friends yesterday. Kinda busy…” he answers, followed by a fake laugh, “The guy who just answered you… It’s Mark. Remember him? Him and I… Well…” he trails off on purpose “He spent the night here. You know, taking care of me”.

Mark quirks a brow, his Korean is so rusty, he can barely make out the meaning of words. He tilts his head and Jae gives him a reassuring smile, waving off to tell him everything is fine. Mark nods and smiles back before moving to the kitchen and brewing Jae some coffee.

“I see…” says Brian, after a pregnant pause “I guess he took good care of you. Slept there and everything. He stayed…” he adds, feeling his voice getting choked up and the tears welling up in his eyes.

Jae bites down his lip and looks down at his tattoo sleeve before saying, “Yeah, that. You could say so… I need to go now, Younghyun. He is making breakfast. Don’t wanna leave him waiting…”

“It’s okay. I understand. Have a nice day…” he says and attempts to hang up but Jae talks one more time.

“Oh, by the way!” he adds in a chirpy voice, and Brian, for a split second, feels hope again “Congratulations on your collab with Wonpil. You two are a perfect match. Honestly… You look like the ideal couple for a song such as that one. So romantic. I heard you wrote it together…” Jae finishes and clenches his fist again, fighting back the tears.

Brian gulps and stares at his feet on the ground. Of course, his previous hope is gone.

“Yeah… The collab… Thanks. Congrats on your new song as well. It was… Honest and raw” he compliments and Jae’s breathe hitches.

He looks at his own dark bags on the mirror in front of his bed and laughs bitterly.

“Thank you. I am glad you liked it. It was an impulsive decision but… Well, you know I don’t think things through, right?” he says and Brian knows it’s a lie; Jae is an overthinker “And I manage to always fall for the wrong one… But, hey! At least, that helps with songwriting, right?”

Brian takes the fox charm on his necklace and holds it in his fist.

“Right. It is a silver lining to be able to write about heartbreaks and earn money from it. Isn’t it?” 

Jae hums in response before adding, “I really have to leave, Younghyun. Good luck. With your career... and with everything”.

After Jae hangs up, Brian is sat down on the floor of his luxurious apartment complex. Surrounded by expensive decoration and furniture. The most delicate pieces of clothing and jewelry inside his closet. But the most precious one is on his neck. And the only thing he wants badly right then is to hug Jae. But he can’t. He is alone now. Jae won’t come to him. 

  
  


❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ 

  
  


When autumn starts showing its red and brown colors in Seoul, Young K releases a new song. A month and some days have gone by. This is his first completely self-produced and arranged song. He didn’t allow anyone to touch it. He almost got into a fight with the executive producer of the company because he wouldn’t allow any touch-up on it. It was pretty much raw. And he decided against promoting it regularly. He wanted to busk around town. 

Everyone is head over heels by Young K’s honest words on the song. In the video, he is longing in the distance as a girl has left him at the train station. He falls to the ground as he sings beautifully. As he belts his heart out, almost begging for forgiveness to that girl. But Brian, the man underneath Young K, knows those lyrics are for a man and one man only.

_Words I couldn’t bear to say_

_I should’ve still told you_

_Once more, back to those times_

_It would have been_

_Once more, back to those times_

_I would hold you_

_So you won’t be apart from me_

_For even a moment_

_I would give you my everything_

_I would have_

He hadn’t thought about the impact of the song on charts. Because he didn’t care about them anymore. But he didn’t expect it to be his biggest hit then. Everywhere he went, they were playing his most personal song. It even became a karaoke staple. A few junior idols covered it almost to perfection. Brian was proud of his creation. Not so much of himself. 

Thanks to busking, he’s been stripped away from the heavy makeup and the hectic early schedules he had for music shows and interviews. He enjoys being out in the city way more. And, somehow, it attracts even more fans, they feel closer to him. They see Young K as an idol with his feet on the ground. One who smiles at fans and always thanks them before and after busking. 

On a rather chilly October day, he goes to a park nearby that company building. He knows it is risky. He doesn’t doubt Jamie’s ability to kick his ass. However, it is a pretty park. One of the lesser-known ones in Seoul. Once he sees the falling leaves and the few couples prancing around, holding hands inside pockets, he decides to sing his song… And a cover of his and eaJ’s collab. His fans go crazy in seconds. They can’t keep quiet about how similar his and Young One’s voices sound. But he doesn’t address it and keeps singing it. 

When Jae and Jamie pass by the park, walking to their favorite restaurant, Jae catches the sound of the guitar and the melodic and warm honey-voiced he grew to love and hate. How could he keep going every day if his voice was everywhere? A song where Young K wanted to turn back time. Where he wanted to fix things. Jae knew listening to it would only hurt him even more. But he always did. So, when he recognizes his own lyrics, he moves towards the crowd. And for the first time in months, he sees Brian again.

He can’t see him, as he has his eyes closed. Jae takes a while to study his face again. He is way thinner now. And he knows it must be because of the promotions. He also has dark red hair now. Jae can’t help but laugh internally at the resemblance between Brian now and the charm he gifted him a few months ago. Unfortunately for him, Brian is still beautiful. Maybe even more. And it is doing things to Jae’s eyes. So he takes his sister’s hand, preventing her from kicking Brian’s teeth in, and pulls them away from the park, going the opposite direction. 

That night, Jae is at his bedroom, scribbling messy lyrics and ripping the pages out every time. He can’t think of anything. He wants to write. He feels his fingers itching just by thinking about it. But every lyric that comes out feels shallow and some, even an attempt to answer Brian’s song. He can’t have that, so he starts looking back at some of his old videos on the eaJ account. He stumbles upon the night where he got drunk, the night before he last talked to Kang Brian. His own voice belting out the lyrics in the middle of the night sounds foreign to him. But it hits right where he needed it.

For the first time in a while, he pulls an all-nighter writing out the song. It is ready in one night. By next month, he is doing the final touch-ups on it. And before the end of the year award nominations close, he releases it. On December 19th, Younghyun’s birthday. 

When Brian wakes up that day and turns on the TV, a snippet of eaJ’s new song is the first thing he sees. And not only the music, this time there is a full music video. eaJ’s face is finally revealed to the public on it. Before, some glimpses of it were on the videos. Most of them were body shots, where he would showcase his tattoos. But now, Jae is singing “who loves you now?” in a beautiful voice as he stares deeply into the camera. 

Brian feels like those eyes are blowing holes into his skull. Jae is blond now. He has bangs over his eyes and the lip ring is still there. The tattoos on his collarbones are visible thanks to the low cut of the shirt he wears. And he looks like he is wearing his heart on his sleeve as well. 

Kang Brian, for the first time in forever, spends his birthday at home, listening to eaJ’s song and his own collab with him on loop. 

  
  


❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ 

  
  


When the Award Season comes by, so does the winter. eaJ’s newest song is his breakthrough and, somehow, he is nominated for three awards on the same night: Song Of The Year, Best Male Solo Artist, and Best Collab. His and Young One’s song was the dark horse of the nominees. But, he noticed the other strong competitor in that category was Brian and Wonpil’s collab as well. He can’t say he is pleased, but he knew they’d probably meet at some point. Better for him to be ready.

The day has come around and it’s time for Jae’s first-ever gala. He can’t shake off the feeling of being out of place there. That’s one of the reasons he takes Jamie with him; other than being siblings, of course. She is the happiest with that decision. Maybe it’s due to the fact that she can actually get to see some of her role models up-close. They sit together, and the stars aligned just perfectly for them to be close to Young K. (Jamie, however, doesn’t give a flying fuck about the stars and keeps talking trash about him).

“Jamie. Don’t be rude. Especially not to him. We don’t talk bad about people who are no longer in our lives” he mutters but Brian can definitely hear it. 

It would be a lie to say he doesn't feel his heart crumbling like a cookie. 

Everything happens in a haze, and Jae finds himself taking both the Song of The Year Award and Best Male Solo Artist. What should be the happiest day of his life is overshadowed by the fact that he is a few seats away from the person who made him live his worst days. 

In fact, a few seats away, Young K is sweating. What if he wins as Young One? He would need to come up to the stage with eaJ. Would he out him? He needs to talk to Jae. Not only about that, but that could be the catalyst. He notices Jae going away to the restroom, so he excuses himself to his manager and goes behind him. Jae is getting out of the stall when he enters the restroom.

“Oh, hello. Young K-ssi” greets Jae, in a monotone voice, before bowing.

Brian is clenching his fist. Last time, Jae addressed him with his birth name. Now, it was his stage one. He could see Jae’s efforts to further the distance between them and it burned his scarred heart. 

“Sorry I am asking this but… If you win with _Tick Tock_ , can you not make me go up with you? I don’t want anyone to find out about me…”

Jae smiles and, for the first time, Brian hates it.

“Of course, sunbaenim. I know how embarrassing it would be to win alongside a no-name, right? I understand. Although I don't think I’d win? Everyone really melted with your _bromance_ with Kim Wonpil... I think you will win" he says and bows again before turning around.

Before he can stop himself, Brian grabs his wrist.

“I… I just want you to know this. I know I should have told you at the moment but… I was scared of hurting you even more…” he starts, his voice shaking in an unnatural way. He can’t recognize himself.

Jae pulls back his arm and quirks a brow. 

“What are you talking about? I know about you and Wonpil-ssi. It was kinda obvious. Don’t you worry. I couldn’t be hurt by that. I told you I am used to falling for the wrong one, Younghyun”.

Brian holds Jae’s shoulders. He is afraid Jae will push him away. He is afraid of what he has to say. Scared of hurting himself (and Jae, especially Jae) even more. He knows miscommunication was the first culprit, but neither of them helped the situation in the least. He didn’t want to poke at the open wounds they both sported on their hearts. 

“That’s the issue! I’ve never had anything with Wonpil! He is my best friend since we were trainees. Nothing more than that. If we had skinship and flirty moments it was because of the company. They wanted us to feed on to the shipping hunger the fans had…” he says and looks up.

Jae opens his mouth to say something but Brian holds his chin.

“On top of that, I asked him to compose the song with me. Because I was in love with the only other person who could have helped me… I didn’t want them to find out before the song was ready” his voice is barely a whisper now and he places his other hand on Jae’s chest “I was in love with you, Jae”.

Jae’s almond eyes instantly well up as he croaks out, “What…”

Brian quickly holds his cheeks and nods, stroking Jae’s soft skin. It feels so warm to be close to him again. He can see his own eyes reflected on Jae’s. He can smell the relaxing lavender scent again. He is close to the sun once again, a few steps too close to burning up.

“I said what I said, Jae. I was in love with you… I think I still am. But I know I fucked up by keeping it in. I hurt you without intending to. I should have been more clear. I am sorry”.

Heavy tears fall down Jae’s handsome face. His makeup might be ruined. His heart for sure is. 

“But you…” interrupts Jae.

And Brian wipes his tears away, Jae almost keens into the touch.

“I know I didn’t help too much either. I didn’t look for you afterward. But you said someone slept with you… I thought you were dating him, Jae” he adds, evidently affected but then he smiles, “Until I saw a photo of him in one of your stories and recognized him. He even has a girlfriend, Jae”. 

Jae goes red in the face and tries to hide it but Brian keeps a stronghold on it.

“I forgive you, though. I understand you were slowly crawling back into your shell. Protecting yourself. I won’t hold it against you, Jae” he continues and his face falls again “But then, you released that song… On my birthday. I’m not gonna lie. It hurt like hell. Although I don’t think you intended that. If you had, I would understand it, as well. You had every right to feel angry at me. I was too ambiguous… That is my fault”. 

He lets go of Jae’s face and moves away but his hands are instantly caught and put back in place. Jae’s cheeks are wet and red. He can feel the mascara bleeding onto his eyes and how red they must be. But after feeling Brian’s touch again, he can’t physically let him go.

“You did nothing wrong! I overthought everything! I didn’t even ask for an explanation… I just assumed. And then… You tried to talk and I shun you out. I made up the thing about Mark and me. I wanted to get a reaction from you, but you were so understanding. I hated you for that. I wanted you to be jealous. To get angry. To yell at me. But you were neutral”.

Taking a step closer, Brian presses their chests together.

“I wasn’t unfazed, Jae. Something broke inside of me. And I didn’t feel it until you released that song a few weeks back. There was a hole on my chest and I was numb to the pain from the moment you told me his name over the phone…”

Brian tries his best to wipe those tears away from Jae’s face again. 

“I am sorry, Bri. I was an idiot. I am so insecure. I was so afraid… “ he mutters and looks up at his eyes “You are picture-perfect. You are even perfect inside! But when I saw you with Wonpil, my demons got the best of me and made me think he was better for you… How he is better than me…”

After giving it a thought, Brian closes the distance between them and presses his forehead to Jae’s.

“Listen carefully, Park Jaehyung. There is no one better for me than you”. 

With trembling lips, as he tries to catch his breath, Jae grabs onto Brian’s sides and looks into those fox-like eyes. They don’t need to reflect the stars or galaxies in them. For Jae, they just need to reflect his own. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asks and Brian gleams in a smile, the tiniest glimpse of tears on his eyes. 

“I thought I would have to ask for it myself…”

And so, Jae tilts his head to the side and captures Brian’s lips with his. Brian sighs, completely relaxed for the first time in months. As Jae explores his mouth, he can feel the lip ring coldly pressed against his skin. How Jae’s bony and tattooed fingers press against his waist firmly. 

Brian moves his hands up to Jae’s blond hair. He opens his mouth, letting Jae’s pierced tongue inside. He sucks onto that cool and hot tongue. Jae moans and moves them towards the sink, pressing him to it. Brian gasps and holds onto Jae’s nap, gasping out each time he feels that body against his until he hears noises from outside the bathroom.

Right. The awards ceremony. The show. The after-party.

A bit harshly, he pushes Jae off him. Opening his eyes, Jae gives him a confused look. The way his plump lips look makes Brian’s knees go weak. The piercing on his lip shines bright. Brian can’t help but remember how it felt against his skin. 

“We should go back, Jae,” he says, red as a tomato “One of us is winning the next award. Maybe it will be both of us…” he adds and Jae laughs, holding onto his waist.

“I don’t care about any awards now. I am glad I can be with you, even if it’s in the shadows” answers Jae, before pressing a kiss to his forehead, “Plus, I am sure you will win. Your song is beautiful, Bri…”

The start fixing themselves and Jae smirk when he looks at Brian’s bitten lips. He did that.

“You look really hot, you know?” he teases and Brian blushes before punching him on the shoulder.

“The only reason my song is beautiful is that someone as beautiful as you was my muse, Jae”.

Jae groans and covers his face. Such a sap. Brian laughs and kisses those tattooed knuckles.

“Come on, Mr. eaJ. My manager and your sister will start worrying” he takes Jae’s hand one last time and guides them back to their seats.

When he plops down next to his sister, Jae feels like he was just floating around. They wait for the results while holding hands. Jamie assures him he will win. If only she knew he’s not rooting for himself.

“And the winner collab is… Young K & Wonpil! Congratulations!” the young MC says before clapping.

Brian frantically looks over to Jae, worried. But instead of a frown on that soft face, Jae smiles back at him and winks, mouthing “Congratulations”. Brian smiles and moves up to receive the award. Wonpil is not there since he has been a bit sick for a few weeks, but he sent a message just in case he won. They play it on the screen. 

When Young K receives the award, he is looking at the audience. He is looking for Jae. 

“Thank you so much for all the love you gave our song! This song has opened a completely new chapter on my life…” he starts and some fans start screaming, excited about “ _YoungFeel_ ”. He smiles politely and says, “I wrote this song because I was in love. Not only was. But I still am. And I want to thank the person who inspired me to write this song with my best friend…” he continues and Jae giggles behind his hand “Thank you for being here tonight. I hope I can live up to your expectations. Because you certainly live up to mine” he smiles again and looks at Jae, discreetly.

Jaehyung blushes and blows him a kiss. Jamie looks at him like he is crazy.

“Thank you for giving me a chance. I will try my best to be someone you deserve. Thank you for your love. I love you…” Brian finishes and hears all the yelling and clapping from fans and idols alike.

He gets off the stage and practically floats to his seat. When he passes by Jae, he holds his hand and whispers, “I love you too” before letting him go back to his seat. (This moment is captured by a fansite but since Jae was covering his mouth with his hand, they are left to wonder the exchange between Youngk and eaJ).

When the show is over, they skip the party. 

As Jaehyung drives his car towards Brian’s apartment, he looks back at him on the passenger seat. He glows. The moonlight shines upon him through the car window and Jae feels as if his heart will explode at any moment. Brian fills the car with his cinnamon scent once again. As full as Jae’s mind has been for the past months, except it was with Brian’s existence. 

“Hey, can I see the tattoo now?” asks Jae, brushing up his blond locks, on a red traffic light. 

Brian’s hearty laugh makes Jae meltdown like sweet honey. 

“Yeah…” he says before unbuttoning his long sleeves and pulling them up a bit.

A black sun embracing a white ink moon. On Brian’s bronzed skin, they are even more mesmerizing. Jae strokes the tattoo, comparing his own skin to his. The red light becomes green and he has to focus his eyesight on the road, once again. However, it doesn’t stop him from asking,

“And, what does it mean?” 

A soft warm smile on those rosy lips Jae grew to love.

“You know the story about the moon and the sun falling in love? How they can only see each other during an eclipse?” says Brian, looking at his own arm “Well, it is usually a romantic story but, when I went to have it done, I was thinking about my own self. I am Young K and Kang Brian, aren’t I? But I am also Kang Younghyun and Young One, now.”

Jae chuckles and looks over to him, a smile painted on his face as well. 

“I got what you mean, don’t worry” Jae assures, keeping his eyes forward “But I can still see the romantic meaning behind it, don’t you think?” he adds, nonchalantly, when they reach another red light. 

He takes Brian’s hand in his and kisses his knuckles. 

“Of course you do. You always do” Brian answers before stealing a peck to Jae’s lips. 

The light becomes green once again and Jae drives off, holding the steering wheel in one hand, and his whole world in the other one. 

For a split second, an eclipse exists in the space inside a car. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading until the end.
> 
> Catch me on @jaesgemini at Twitter to talk about anything you want. :) <3
> 
> See ya!


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